+1190
+1192
rowan •
8. 5. 2007 o 12:08 +1190
+1192
prostě sexy kus,
minisukýnka, přiléhavé tričko, podprsenka žádná - a snaží se opravit
kolo.
Když je ženská zmerčí, tak hned na ně: "Pánové, neumíte někdo opravit kolo?
Já tomu vůbec nerozumím". Jeden chlap na to: "Jo já se v tom
vyznám, opravím
vám to." Druhý tomu prvnímu: "Tak opravuj, já už pomalu půjdu a
počkám tě na
kraji lesa". No chlap čeká na kámoše na kraji lesa 10 minut, 20
minut -
kámoš Furt nikde. Asi po půlhodině chlap kouká - jeho kámoš jede z
lesa na
kole od té ženské. Tož se ho ptá: "Ty vole, tys tu ženskou zabil a sebral
jsi jí to kolo nebo co?" Kámoš odvětí: "Ale ne. Já jsem jí to perfektně
spravil a ona byla tak šťastná, že sundala kalhotky a říká mi - vemte
si co
chcete. No tak jsem si vzal to kolo" Na to ten druhý: "No to jsi udělal
dobře, protože v těch kalhotkách bys vypadal jak debil!"
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Akcia -33% Lezyne Dual Insert Kit Large náradie na opravu bezdušových plášťov
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druhy tu snad nebol
„Jak by jste popsal své první kolo?“
„Bylo modrý, mělo berany a přehazovačku“
Jedna ľudská bunka obsahuje 75 MB genetických informácií. Jedna spermia má teda 37,5 MB. V jednom mililitri ejakulátu je pribliľne 100 miliónov spermií. Pri ejakulácii trvajúcej v priemere 5 sekúnd sa uvoľní asi 2,25 ml spermií. Výpočtom zistíme, že dátová priepustnosť mužského penisu je (37, 5 M x100 M x 2,25) / 5 = 1687,5 terabajtov za sekundu. Vo výsledku je teda ženské vajíčko schopné odolávať DDoS útokom o objeme viac ako 1,5 petabajtov za sekundu a pritom prepustí len jediný dátový paket. Tým pádom je to najrobustnejší hardwarový firewall na svete. Tento jeden paket, ktorý firewall prepustí, však dokáže zhodiť celý systém na deväť mesiacov.
tusim som vykonnejsi ako vsetky PC v nasej firme
Hodíte medzi nich basketbalku.
Hodíte medzi nich basketbalku.
ja by som medzi nich hodil prislusnika skinheads
Hodíte medzi nich basketbalku.
na takýchto vtipoch sa už dávno nikto nesmeje...
If someone were to ask you who the last person anyone should ever dare to mug is, what name would be your answer? This lister is betting on 80% or better of respondents answering, “Chuck Norris.”
Amazingly, astoundingly, two idiots managed to try just that. It happened in 1994. Norris mentions this whole thing in his autobiography, “Against All Odds.” And, by his testimony, this is what happened. Honest to God, it really happened.
In 1994, right at the beginning of his run as Walker, Texas Ranger, Norris was, and still is, living in Dallas, Texas, where the show was filmed. One day he was walking down the street by himself, no entourage, no fans following him, no bodyguards, not even his wife. He turned a commercial block in the downtown skyscraper area and saw two men a little bigger than he coming straight for him from the other end of the block.
They were staring right at him, and he figured they wanted autographs, which he enjoys signing. So he walked up to them and stopped with a smile, whereupon they stood in front of him, whipped out a couple of large pocketknives, and one of them demanded, “Give me your wallet, Chuck! Give it here!”
Norris actually opened his mouth wide and then asked, “Are you insane!?”
“No! We know who you are! And we know you got a lot of money! Now give it up, or you’re dead!”
Now before we go further, let us just go over a few of the particulars. All jokes aside, Chuck Norris truly does have the following black belts: 1st degree in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 8th Degree Grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do, 9th degree in Jeet Kune Do under Bruce Lee and Lee’s best student, Dan Inosanto, 10th degree in Shito Ryu Karate, 10th degree in Tang Soo Do, 11th degree in Chun Kuk Do.
Granted, the last art is his own concoction, a hybrid of all the best moves he has learned over the years, all blended for both self-defense and competition, and you are only allowed a 10th degree or better in anything when you found your own dojo. But suffice to say, the muggers didn’t even use guns. From a hundred feet away. They used knives within arm’s reach. What happened next was rather anti-climactic.
The police arrived about 4 minutes later, 3 officers in two cars, and were greeted by the scene of two men with SEVERELY broken arms (the bones had gone through the skin) sitting on the curb, two bloody knives in the gutter, and Chuck Norris, the Almighty Himself, leaning against the wall, wearing his beard, jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat….he shrugged at them. The police started laughing so hard that they bent over, holding their sides, unable to put the handcuffs on the muggers. One of them managed to ask, “Did you not know who he was?!”
One of them said, “Yeah, we knew who he was! We figured all that crap on TV was fake!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K6IK9X-l5o&feature=player_embedded
Aky je rozdiel medzi politikom a zlodejom?
Najviac ho uputala odpoved jedneho ucitela:
Vazeny pan Millor, na zaklade dlheho rozmyslania som prisiel k nasledujucemu zaveru. Rozdiel medzi politikom a zlodejom je v tom, ze toho prveho som si vybral ja a ten druhy si vybral mna. Je to spravna odpoved?
Odpoved Millora bola nasledujuca: Vazeny pane, vy ste genius!!
Ako jediny ste dokazali medzi nimi najst aspon jeden rozdiel.
Uloží si ich do dvoch radov na 4 a 4...
Tie zo zadného radu vypije a vypýta si ďalšie štyri.
Opäť si ich poukladá do zadného radu, opäť vypije iba tie zo zadného
radu a keď sa to takto opakuje 6 krát
...barman sa ho spýta:
- Pane, prečo pijete len tie zozadného radu?
- No bol som včera u doktora a ten mi povedal, že v prvom rade mám
prestať piť...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF5w0Kxgs_s&feature=related